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Advice for Same-sex Male Couples Using an Egg Donor

Egg donation, in coordination with surrogacy, is a core part of LGBT family building for same-sex male couples. Same-sex male couples have the option of asking a close family member or friend to donate her eggs or they can work with an anonymous donor who they are matched with by an agency. For those couples who choose to work with a donor via an agency, you may be unsure as to how the donation process will work – wondering how you will choose the right donor for growing your family.

At Egg Donor America, we work with many LGBT couples seeking to grow their family with the help of an egg donor. We understand that the donation process may seem somewhat daunting, after all, but it really doesn’t have to be. Please consider our advice below as you begin the process of finding the right egg donor to help build your family.

Your donor’s appearance doesn’t have to be the top priority if you don’t want it to be.
Many intended parents will first consider their egg donor’s appearance over any other characteristic, and this is completely fine. In such cases, couples are looking for a donor that resembles one or both partners. This is less common for same-sex male couples but is still a consideration. If you and your partner decide to prioritize the donor’s education over her hair color or eye color, then that is also 100% your decision. Weighing all the available information provided in a donor profile will help provide a full picture of your future child, so it’s only logical that you wouldn’t settle on appearance alone.

Decide what the most important donor traits are before reviewing agency profiles.
So often, couples can struggle to find their “ideal” egg donor because they have a high number of “must have” traits on their list. While many donor databases are diverse (Egg Donor America has over 600 donors to select from), having a strict guide of what your donor must look like, her educational background, her hobbies/interests, and her career path will severely narrow your options. If this happens, you may feel as if you’re unable to find the right donor even with hundreds to choose from. We kindly advise that you consider keeping your list of traits to only the top one to two must-have characteristics, especially when first starting your search.

Connect with other couples using egg donors.
When in doubt, seeking the advice of a couple who has already worked with an egg donor can be immensely helpful. You can connect online with couples who’ve had an egg donor, as there are many support groups and communities for couples using third-party reproduction to build their families.

If you have questions about finding an egg donor, please contact our staff today.

Related Topics: Finding an egg donor, LGBT, Same-sex couples