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How to Talk about Infertility and Egg Donation

Using an egg donor to have a baby is a very personal choice that should be respected and supported. Even with modern family-building methods like donor egg use becoming mainstream, many intended parents struggle with conversations around their decision to use third-party reproduction. They worry they will be judged or face insensitive commentary about their choice.

Dealing with insensitivity to infertility and family-building choices
This concern is very understandable. For the most part, insensitive comments and questions about using an egg donor stem from a lack of education. If you are not familiar with the fertility community and third-party reproduction, then the process can seem very foreign. There are still many myths and misconceptions about egg donation that fuel its mentions in popular culture, and because of this, many intended parents find themselves in the unusual position of being an educational resource for their family members and friends.

Choosing how much to reveal and when
There are ways to make discussing your decision to use an egg donor easier. Of course, how much you reveal about your journey to parenthood, and to whom, is 100% your decision. For some, only close family members and friends are informed. For others, the decision is well-known across their community and outer social circles. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to egg donation or third-party reproductive services generally. You need to make choices that are best for your family.

How to talk about infertility and egg donation

  • Plan ahead – determine what you feel comfortable discussing ahead of time, and plan for instances in which you will need to turn down providing a response if you wish to refrain from providing details.
  • Gather resources for reference – find educational resources you trust and can provide when questions about donor egg use fall outside your purview. ASRM, SART, and RESOLVE are excellent resources for information on infertility and third-party reproduction.
  • Consider joining a support group – there are many types of support groups available for those who have chosen egg donation. Support groups are provided for infertile couples, LGBT couples, single parents, women-only parents, men-only parents, etc. You can attend support groups in person or online. They are an excellent resource for stress relief as well as sharing perspectives/advice on fertility treatment.

If you have questions about support for intended parents choosing egg donation, please contact the team at Egg Donor America.

Related Topics: Infertility, Infertility support, Egg donation