How to Talk About Using an Egg Donor During the Holidays

For intended parents who have decided to use an egg donor to have a baby, the infamous “when are you having kids” question during a holiday party can be a total minefield of emotions and anxiety. Even though using an egg donor and other forms of third-party reproduction has become a lot more common in recent years, many people still misunderstand it, which can make it difficult to predict how your loved ones will react.

If you’re embarking on the path to parenthood via egg donation, you may find yourself nervous about the upcoming holidays and all the personal questions that come with them. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to answer any questions you don’t want to. Simply changing the subject and moving along is a completely viable option.

Holiday Get-Togethers During a Pandemic
Because of the COVID-19 pandemic, holiday parties will mostly look very different this year. For example, a large virtual get-together is very different from a large in-person event. When you’re in person with a large group, there are innumerable opportunities for people to drift from the crowd and wander into more intimate conversations.

With a large virtual event, small groups can’t split off in the same way and it may actually be easier to avoid having to answer deeply personal questions. However, by the same token, you may find yourself virtually connecting with others on a one-on-one basis more than you normally would. In the virtual realm, there are fewer distractions, so one-on-one conversations can actually be more intimate in some ways.

Whatever the case may be this holiday season, there are a few strategies you can use to help make the process of talking to friends and family about using an egg donor a little easier.

Plan Your Egg Donor Narrative Ahead of Time
Before the conversation even begins, it can be helpful to have a few details outlined about what you’re willing to share and with whom. Knowing this ahead of time will make it easier for you to take charge of the conversation and create boundaries.

At the same time, you should also prepare yourself for various uncomfortable questions. A lot of people might not understand egg donation and can unintentionally ask rude or insensitive questions. Having a few polite responses prepared beforehand can help you nip these awkward conversations in the bud. Some ideas include:

• “The most important thing for us is that we’re starting a family.”
• “Thank you for asking, but I’m not ready to discuss that right now.”
• “I’m just really happy and excited about the future. Anyway, what’s new with you?”

Remember, as an intended parent, you’re in a place of power when it comes to navigating the conversation about your choice to use an egg donor. It’s your personal story and it’s up to you how that story gets told.

To learn more about egg donation, contact Egg Donor America today.